The following is the unfortunate tale of an infamous day in Dong family history.
The year was nineteen ninety something. It was a sunny, summer afternoon and my younger brother Jeremy, little cousin Beth and I were hanging about my grandmother's backyard looking for ways to kill time while our parents and older cousins discussed various dull, grown-up topics inside the house.
In one corner of the yard stood a sizable, decades-old kumquat tree that bore hundreds of yellowy-orange fruit.
In an effort to alleviate our boredom, we decided to hold a contest to see who could throw a kumquat the highest.
In his effort to generate the force needed to throw the kumquat highest, Jeremy compromised his aim...
We watched, wide-eyed, as he accidentally hurled a kumquat right over the wall and into a neighbor's yard.
After watching the kumquat ricochet off of an air conditioning unit and land with a soft plop in the neighbor's yard, my brother came up with a way to make the game more interesting.
I bet you I can throw a kumquat into that vent thingy...
And that was when things spiraled out of control...
Initially our goal was to try and get a single kumquat through the grates of the AC unit but after many failed attempts, the three of us became consumed with an inexplicable desire to pelt the entire yard with kumquats.
Then, Bethany peeked over another wall and discovered another neighbor's yard.
Look guys! This person's yard has firewood!!
...But not enough KUMQUATS!!
I can't quite explain what motivated us to do what we did. We threw kumquat after kumquat as though possessed. After at least one full hour of this, we managed to blanket all three of my grandma's next door neighbors' backyards with fruit. Initially, we somehow felt accomplished and we celebrated our victory...
After a few minutes, the sense of jubilation subsided and was replaced by horrifying realization...
What have we
As the oldest, I felt obligated to formulate a plan. Unfortunately what I came up with didn't make much sense...
We have to hide this tree...
It was then one of the next door neighbors emerged from her house and strolled into her once pristine backyard.
Obviously she saw what we had done almost immediately.
And was not amused.
I'm going to tell your Grandma!!
We ran for it, agreeing to never speak of the incident ever again...
A few days later my Dad got a rather baffling phone call from my understandably pissed off grandmother.
They did WHAT?!?!